When I first snarfed this down, my opinion was "It's okay if you like that sort of thing."  But here's the problem: I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since.

As you could probably guess, the Milky Way Simply Caramel is just a regular old Milky Way bar, but without any of the nougat.  Milky Way has never been one of my favorite candy bars, partly because that nougat is so very very sweet.  It's sweet in a kind of nauseating way, possibly because the sticky cling of the nougat and the caramel makes the sweetness physically stick in your mouth for much longer than the sweetness of, say, Nerds.

So in that sense, Milky Way Simply Caramel is an improvement.  Imagine surgically removing the nougat and replacing it with… more caramel!  What you actually end up with is a big ol' mouthful of caramel.  That was my early impression - this thing has way too much caramel.  In fact, I still think the Milky Way Simply Caramel bar would be better served by coming in two pieces, like a Twix bar.

The overall taste is decidedly down-market.  Make no mistake, Milky Way is a gas station kind of candy bar.  We all loved these as kids, and we love them still, but with an entire world of delicious candies and chocolate bars and desserts of every kind, why bother with a Milky Way?  It's not even filling, the way that a Snickers bar is.

Milky Way bars manage to taste really cheap, but I'm not really sure why.  It's partly something about the way the chocolate flakes and chips instead of breaking smoothly.  And partly about the quality of the flavors, which are like Crayola crayons to a real chocolate bar's oil paints.

However, I will admit that the caramel in a Milky Way bar is pretty good.  It's not too liquid like a Caramello, and it's not too solid like a Riesen.  (I like Riesens, but I always fear for my dental work when I try and eat one.)  The texture is smooth and creamy, not unlike the caramel dip that you can buy for dipping slices of apples in.  Imagine a slightly thicker version of caramel topping and you've got it.

I required a lot of water when I was eating this particular candy bar.  The overt sweetness is still very much present, and the lackluster quality of the chocolate doesn't help here.  After I was finished, my impression was pretty much "Meh."

And yet… and yet.  I keep thinking "Maybe I should give it another try."  I fantasize about finding some in miniature Fun Size.  Reducing it down to Fun Size would take care of a lot of my objections, and make it a nice little snacker.  I wonder if they will have Fun Size Simply Caramel bars this Halloween?  I wonder if they have some now, for Easter?

Seriously, is the Mars company sneaking heroin into these things?  Because even though I didn't really care for it, I can't get it out of my mind.  HELP ME.

Creative Commons-licensed image courtesy of Flickr user daves cupboard