Whitman's Heart-Shaped Assortment

Whitman's Heart-Shaped Assortment

Last night at Rite Aid I suddenly realized that I have never actually had a Whitman's sampler. Seems like a pretty big oversight, doesn't it?

I also realized that the heart-shaped assortments for Valentine's Day were on sale half off. I debated not buying it, because my other purchases were a bottle of wine (you can get great deals on wine at Rite Aid OH GOD DID I REALLY JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD IN PUBLIC) and two bottles of nail polish. Could you get any more self-pityingly "single lady"? Only by adding in half-price unsold Valentine's Day candy!

When I opened the sampler at home I was annoyed that it didn't include a road map. I'm not one of those people who gushes over the joy of discovery and magical surprise. I like to know what I'm eating ahead of time. I figured the square chocolate with the dark chocolate stripes probably had a truffle filling, but who knows about the others?

After opening the package I was surprised at how fragrant it was. Seriously, this thing had chocolate smell out the yin-yang. I could literally smell it from five feet away, and I'm pretty sure it's not just because I've been watching what I eat, and my nose has developed a compensatory super sense for candy smells. (PRETTY sure. Not completely sure, though.)

I started safe, with the square one in the middle. It had a postman stamped on it, for no reason that I could discern. I thought it was going to be a mint, judging by the flat rectangular shape. It was not a mint; it was just a milk chocolate. This was a little unsettling already, but I had to admit that the chocolate was pretty good.

The square one with the dark chocolate swirl proved to be filled with a sort of firm chocolate caramel. It reminded me of a Rolo, only bigger, and more chocolate-y. I get a weird, somewhat uncomfortable feeling in my gums when I eat this style of caramel. Am I alone in that?

Moving clockwise, I encountered a round milk chocolate candy. This had a white fluffy center that was less chewy than marshmallow, but softer than nougat. It reminded me a little of a Peep, but tasted like a Cadbury crème egg. Weird. Too sweet. It made me thirsty.

Next, a lumpy rectangular candy. I thought it might have nuts in it, but it proved to have the sort of chocolate truffle filling I thought I'd find in the second one. It was pretty good, but again, overly sweet.

(There were two of these. Their shape reminded me of the battleship token from Monopoly.)

Finally, a dark chocolate round candy. I approached this one with trepidation. I like dark chocolate a lot, but I wasn't too keen on the idea of a too-sweet dark chocolate candy with some kind of weird filling. I was relieved to find that it had a coconut filling. So basically, a small round Mounds bar (but sweeter).

Overall, I was unimpressed. It wasn't a bad experience for the two bucks I paid, but the original price is somewhere around five bucks. The chocolate texture is good (creamy; not waxy) but everything in it is way too sweet. If you're looking for a last-minute Valentine's Day gift, I recommend skipping this heart-shaped assortment in favor of a good non-holiday chocolate bar, with a nice wrapping.